For years and years my wife appeared to not be very interested in sex. Sex perhaps once a month slowly but steadily got less and less; the low mark seemed to be 3 times a year. I started seeing other women discreetly in my early 40’s, and that continued for 10 years. I visited a variety of providers, had a number of one night stands, and developed several ongoing relationships of a “fuck buddy” nature, one in particular with a younger Russian woman that lasted about 7 years, and a more recent one with a married woman who is getting nothing from her husband. Most of these relationships and sessions have been “straight”, but I’ve had several with myself as the dominant man, to the level of enjoying my woman on a collar, heeling at my side, taking my paddle, and of course servicing me every which way I desired. I’ve also had a few submissive sessions where those roles were completely reversed, and I’ve thrilled to that as well.
Early last summer my wife finally figured out I was seeing other women. I think she used a private investigator, as she knew things that even I couldn’t figure out how she’d know.
Rather that terminating our very long relationship, my wife encouraged we “finally” (she’d been asking off and on for a few decades!) go to counseling, and I agreed. We found a therapist and started. That process has led to a vast opening up about our sexuality. I’ve discovered, for example, that my wife masturbates regularly in the shower, and fantasizes about being taken by two men. The most significant result of this has been that my wife’s sex drive (or should I say, her explicit interest in and desire to have sex, I think the drive was always there but stifled by our relationship) has gone through the roof. We are having sex on average 5-6 times a week, sometimes even 7 times a week. Excellent, juicy sex.
My wife however is not “all sex”, in a variety of ways. She considers herself a feminist, and buys into all kinds of viewpoints as a result. Porn, for example, is “degrading to women”, and she doesn’t like that high physicality focus, particularly with the woman so typically being subservient. This gets into a lot of more subtle landmines. For example during sex she doesn’t ever want to be called “girl”. She doesn’t want me to hold her head while I’m fucking her mouth. In general she’s very hesitant to engage in fantasy play, and certainly not with her being cast in some subservient role (i.e., a secretary who is getting screwed by her boss for example).
Sexually she loves getting drilled hard and for long periods. In the past she really didn’t like or want me to go down on her, but now that’s okay. She does like “all” positions, she loves to suck my cock. In our younger days she would orgasm while riding me, but for a long time now she always achieves orgasm through masturbation after all the hard fucking is over, while I’m combining some mouth fucking with some nipple sucking while I masturbate next to her. Similarly, I tend to require lots and lots of hard stroking to reach orgasm (unless I haven’t cum in days, something which almost never happens!), and so I usually also orgasm next to her through masturbation. Sometimes I have her blow me right as I’m starting to cum.
Overall, what she wants before and during sex is “romance”… not a porn scene and not a porn oriented fantasy, particularly right now given she’s aware of my infidelities and “experiences”.
In the past (15 years ago), she worked for a few years at a woman owned erotic products boutique, and during that period, we did some sex play with a variety of “objects”, and a few times had formal dom/sub scenarios.
Now, to the zinger. In the last several counseling sessions she’s said she would like to screw other men. Her reasons are “because I’d like to have those experiences too”. We’ve had discussions about “is this some kind of payback” and so on. As she explains it, “her world has changed” given that I’ve done this, and she’s thinking “why shouldn’t I?”. I’ve gone from “thinking about it” to saying “okay, you can do that, I just want to know about it”. (Similar rules now apply to me: if I’m going to go outside, I have to tell.)
Well of course this fires up my fantasy engine big time. I’ve ALWAYS had fantasies about my wife being a hot slut, in all kinds of different scenarios (her becoming dominant, her being taken by a dominant man, her hooking up with a dominant woman who then comes and whips me into a good submissive shape, then hands the reigns to my wife and calls in some bulls, etc.).
Now the question is where to take this. I do have the fantasy, and she’s shared how her hottest fantasy is definitely having two men. I’ve shared in counseling sessions a little bit about having the fantasy of her having sex with other men, and she knows about it from my fantasizing out it verbally occasionally during sex. But I haven’t just come out and said “yes, please please go fuck another man!”. Part of me really wants to… and part of me is scared to.
At our most recent counseling session, she said she really didn’t know where to start, and started asking about where I went to meet women, and suggesting that I help her! I don’t know how serious she was, and I had the knee jerk response of “no sorry, I’m not going to help you find other men!”. But maybe she was going someplace different, namely, it would be more comfortable for her if “brought her” a man that I thought it was okay for her to fuck? I don’t know. I’m going to ask next week.
Any ideas/suggestions on where and how to take this rather complicated situation? I do get extremely turned on by the whole “hotwife” scenario. Should I actively promote and support this? If I don’t, I doubt that she’s likely to put in the effort (or “exposure” if you will) of making it happen.
Submitted by: Zinc - California
