I wanted to post today a recent blog from Cuckoldress Jinxypie. It’s an insightful piece for the need for honesty and openness in the lifestyle. I myself are guilty of keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself a bit too much. Being a constant fantasist, I find it hard to let some of these fantasies out in the open giving limited information to my partner, and have only myself to blame when things do not pan out the way I really wanted. This blog really hit home Jinxypie is so on the ball with her grasp of the lifestyle.
Clearly We’re Not Mind Readers
I talk a LOT about communication, about people being OPEN and HONEST with each other. We can do that when it comes to things we like or dislike in general, and sometimes on a sexual level. But as husbands and wives, do we really open the gates about what we need from our spouse from a cuckolding relationship?
Ladies, when you first started the steps in your cuckolding relationship, did you completely understand everything your husband wanted out of it? Of course not! Honestly, he probably wasn’t even 100% sure what he wanted. I have spoken to a few women that took a step forward, only to end up taking four steps backwards, due to miscommunication and hurt feelings. Men, we’re putting ourselves out on the line when you ask us to partake in this lifestyle… if we do something wrong or don’t completely understand what you need and you “throw a fit” over it or get upset, we’re not going to want to do this anymore. Sad, but true… we think that we’re only going to screw it up and that we’ll have to deal with you being upset after we are with another man every time. Truth is (and I’m talking to both genders now), if we just push through it and keep talking, we will start to understand fully what the other person needs from us.
Here’s an example from my own life. Some of you may be surprised to learn, I wasn’t always good at this. (Shocker!!!) We all have a growing/learning process to go through, and it’s not easy. When I first began this journey, I wanted to go out alone to hotel rooms or to some guy’s place to have sex. My husband and I had just had a baby about 4 months prior, so he was to stay home and take care of the children while I went out for a few hours. Since my husband couldn’t be there, he’d always ask if I would try to take pictures, just so he could see. Not an outlandish request, right? Well, I would always get where I was going and be uncomfortable bringing up pictures, because I thought the guy would be freaked out by it. I mean, I wasn’t really keen on taking pictures (funny how things change, huh?) – why would some random guy be OK with it? So I never even brought it up. I would get home and the first question my husband would ask would be “So did you get any pictures?” Time and time again, I would say no. The look of disappointment and hurt on his face both killed and confused me. I was out doing what he wanted, right? Cuckolding is about having sex with other men to get sexually satisfied, what does it matter if there are no pictures to prove it?
I couldn’t have been more wrong. To him, that small inconsiderate move was like saying “This is for me, I could care less about what you need out of this.” All he needed was to see what was going on, specifically see my face and how happy I was. I wasn’t willing to give him that because at the time it made me a little uncomfortable.
I was so wrong.
Cuckolds tend to get target-fixated, they start to obsess about one particular thing that could happen, they forget about anything else. It could be something as seemingly simple as seeing his love’s face while she’s taking in another man’s larger sized cock, or something as small as hearing her call her lover a specific pet-name while they’re having sex… or even watching her in a certain sexual position. As women, we don’t know what’s inside their head! But it is our job to try to pry it out of them, if they’re not open to tell us outright.
Think about it this way, ladies. Let’s say you were planning a date with this massively hung, good-looking guy. He wanted to take you out on the town, then back to his place for a lot more fun. Well, date night comes around and dude calls to say he’s running late. No big deal, we can wait for a bit… this is going to be a spectacular night! An hour rolls by, and he’s still not ready to go… then another hour. Then you get a phone call saying he’s too tired from working to go out, and he just wants to chill back at his place. Well, there’s a little disappointment but we can still have fun in the bedroom! He swings by to pick you up, and all he can talk about on the drive to his place is work, he hasn’t even said one word about how HOT you look in your new dress and heels. Once at his place, he plops down on the couch and turns the TV on. Dumbfounded, you go sit next to him… some time passes and you try to make a play. He goes for it, and before long you’re in the bedroom – just where you wanted to be all along, right?! Finally! …except it doesn’t last very long. He gets you all worked up and is done in the span of about seven minutes. You’re lying in the bed beside him, ready to rip his head off, because all he could care about is himself! You have needs too!
All that build up, and then you’re let down. That’s how it is in the mind of a cuck. They build themselves up with the fantasy and excitement of what might happen, what they WANT to happen, and when it doesn’t happen, they freak out.
It took a while for me to understand this concept. Now that I get it, it’s easier for me to ask him what he’s been thinking about, what would be the most exciting thing for him to see/hear while I’m with one of my men… taking the time to talk about what he wants will help you to understand what he is target fixated on, what he’s obsessing about.
Trust me ladies, once “that thing” happens, he’ll be over it and moving on to the next obsession. That’s not a bad thing either, it helps you both to grow sexually and push your limits, making things more exciting. =)
Talk to your cuck. Cucks, talk to your woman. We aren’t mind readers!
Read Jinxypie’s Exclusive Interview with hotwifeblog.com here
Check out the amazingly hot Cuckoldress Jinxypie here