May 22, 2010
A recent letter submitted to me by a new hot wife from Arizona. Thanks for posting Shywife, you have the full support of me and my readers.
Hotwifeblog readers please post in the comments to welcome this lovely hotwife to our community.
I don’t know where to go - no matter how hard I look on the Internet - I find NO support sites for the “hot wives” who are new to this lifestyle. My husband has had this fetish since the day we got married. On our honeymoon he was BEGGING me to go find another man. It took me several years to get over the shock and rejection, it may sound weird, but it hurt me so much that he wanted to “share” me. I would agonize over it and cry over it. I just couldn’t understand how, if he LOVED me, how could he want me to be with other men. He said it would “bring us intimacy” and I was scared he would divorce me if I didn’t. Everytime we made love he would bring it up. Say I needed to “find someone else to do this with in the afternoons” It drove me mad.
Finally, after I had had it up to my ears with his pleas and demands etc - FINALLY - something snapped inside me. I figured, fine, I am completely unsatisfied with our love life anyway, so maybe I can find some “hot stud” who will make me have butterflies and since I have my husband’s blessing and encouragement, I might as well. I had always been such a “good girl”. My husband had been my 4th sexual partner in my whole life when we married. I had always been very shy and never been one to date or have many boyfriends. I had never even had a one night stand. I had always prided myself on being chaste and a good loyal wife so it was so hard and so confusing to me that most other men would LOVE that trait about me and I married a man who wanted me to… well… go out and date, instead of stay in and clean the house, make dinner and take care of him.
As I look back, I see how very lucky I am that I did Marry a man who wants me to have my freedom. He loves me more than I have ever been loved, dotes on me, brings me coffee in the morning, makes me breakfast - he is the most wonderful husband in the world. I would never, could never ever leave him. So, finally after several years of me screaming NO, crying, being so confused and hurt, I finally met someone. I was lucky because he was a nice boy, but he was too young for me and I ended up realizing I was just a “Cougar” to him and I stopped the “relationship” after only a few months (much to his disappointment and my husband’s disappointment).
So, now, I have decided that I am OK with this lifestyle and am ready to pursue it but I am having such an incredibly difficult time doing so, it is almost driving me crazy. I am so sick of being judged and harassed and made to feel weird or feel as though I need to defend my husband. Every man I have met online/in person (no other “boyfriends” yet - simply met a few men as potentials) all of them, when we meet, their jaws drop and ALL OF THEM say something along the lines of “HOW COULD YOUR HUSBAND SHARE YOU? IF YOU WERE MY WIFE I WOULD TIE YOU TO MY BED AND NEVER LET YOU LEAVE” ETC. When I hear those comments, I go right back to where I was a few years ago (heck, a few months ago) to the same question - They are right! HOW COULD HE SHARE ME! And I get so upset and so frustrated and don’t know where to turn. Then, I come to a website like this, and I see how the people are respectful and I know that none of the “true” members on this site would judge me or my husband.
It is a subculture that the mainstream narrow minded people are not able to handle. They don’t understand that it takes the only the truest definition of a “STRONG” “SECURE” man / marriage to allow his wife this gift. I just wish I knew of a place to find “bulls” who were respectful of my boundaries and understand that we are not into this lifestyle to humiliate my husband. He doesn’t even want to be part of anything in the bedroom, doesn’t want to watch, or be a 3rd or anything. He just wants me to go out and have fun, and that, brings him pleasure.
I don’t know if this is the right place to send this but I am at my wits end and done with being judged or feeling weird or alienated. I just want to be part of this community and know that there are some men out there who will respectful and understanding of my situation. I simply wanted to thank you for putting this website up so that I could see that there are others in my situation and are not beating themselves up or feeling “weird”. I just wish I could find “friends” who are supportive of this lifestyle.
Submitted by: ShyWife - Check Out Her Hotwife Dating Profile Here