October 28, 2008
Losing Interest in Husband
So we’ve been doing the cuckold thing for about three years now - mostly hubby’s idea at first - and I guess I’m struggling with something that maybe some of you can comment on.
I’m noticing that over time, I get more and more physically distant from hubby, like my body just isn’t capable of responding to him any more. My heart belongs to him as much as always, but the thought of any sort of sexual contact - geez, even the thought of him seeing me naked - is seeming really weird and nearly impossible to me these days.
Of course, I don’t have these issues with my bf…with him, I get within twenty feet and the arousal lights up. When I’m not with him, I fantasize about him touching me and making love to me, but I haven’t had these kinds of thoughts about hubby in a very long time now. It’s like my body is pre-programmed to be exclusive to my bf somehow.
Believe it or not, I was never the cheating type - never even crossed my mind to want someone else, it was mainly my hubby that brought these thoughts into our relationship, and it took him nearly a year of pleading until I got comfortable with the topic. I guess I’m sort of conservative and old fashioned in my thinking, so it’s been rough for me to really get my head around the whole cuckolding thing.
Still, I try to just go with the flow since it seems to work for all of us, but part of it is that it’s natural for me to be faithful to the guy I’m having sex with, and that’s not hubby at this stage. At the same time, putting hubby in a role more like my brother than my hubby also seems a bit wrong to me, even though I know it’s what he probably wants.
The whole thing just feels awfully complicated to me right now, and I don’t see it getting easier any time soon. The pregnancy thing and it’s probably a common fantasy for a lot of guys in here, but from my perspective as a woman nearing 30, there’s also a very pragmatic side to it regarding whether I want kids, and if so, who would be the father and how would we raise them.
I talked to hubby about it, but I’m not sure he understands how deep this reflex goes. As a result, I walk around feeling sort of guilty and evil - like maybe I’m this terrible person just taking advantage of hubby or something. Hubby seems okay with it - we talk about my outings with my bf and I know he gets aroused by it - but he doesn’t pressure me for sex and seems kind of turned on by the cuckold eunuch lifestyle he’s arranged for himself. Still, it really has me worried - has anyone else experienced this, and what’s the solution?
Submitted by: ValGal
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October 29th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
I think you need to tell hubby very seriously that you’re feeling this way, and unless the cuck’ing stops (god forbid) then you may end up never being comfortable with him again.
I assume he’s a grown man, he can then make a decision on what he wants. If he still wants you to cuck, then you’re not evil or anything of the sort. If you have to stop, you might regain what you’ve lost.
From the sounds of things, you’re past your hubby anyway.
If i were in your position, i’d keep things the way they were?!
October 29th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
It’s refreshing to read a post that doesn’t glamorize this lifestyle. Sure it’s fun to read posts of wives doing complete strangers while on vacation with their husbands watching. But I wonder how much of this is fantasy -vs- reality? For me and my wife it took over a year before we actually turned fantasy into reality. And despite our many wild adventures, not all of them turned out well. It’s my opinion that this “lifestyle” should be about couples who want to explore and enjoy their sexual fantasies TOGETHER and as a couple. Personally I would find little satisifaction in knowing my wife was fucking another man while having little or no interest in fucking me too. And if I were you I would take a serious step back and ask yourself if all this is really what you want. If it’s something your husband spent a year talking you into and now you’re questioning it, my guess is that this probably won’t end well for you and your husband if allowed to continue down it’s current path.
October 29th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
I have been where you are. You can not unring a bell, nor unknow what you know, or unfeel what you feel. You can talk about it and, hopefully, forget what you feel at least let it exist only as a horny memory. Best of luck - you have discovered the dark side of sexual freedom.
October 29th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
I think you need to seriously reevaluate the nature of this relationship. Any power-exchange based sexual relationship needs to be safe, sane, and consensual to be successful. It does not sound exactly consensual in this case.
Just because you’re playing the dominant partner doesn’t mean you consent to it.
At the very least, lines of communication need to be strictly and perpetually open between you and your husband to make it work.
October 30th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
I am too in a similar situation. Thank you for letting me know that what I feel is not unusual.
November 10th, 2008 at 2:35 am
Seems to me, that this is only a natural evolution to the cuckold lifestyle. Your husband has basically forced you to see him as “less than a man” to you. Naturally your natural attraction to a man is no longer present with him.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the hotwife thing and i’ve shared many a girlfriend with other men, but I draw the line at sharing. I will not allow humiliation, I pitty the man who tries it. Why? Because i may like to share but I am a man and my woman as well as any guy she plays with will know it.
I restrict our playing to something we do together. She can be a nasty slut for an evening and enjoy the attentions of more than one man but with the stipulation that I am present, I agree to the selection and I am respected by andy and all parties.
Cuckolding by nature is a kink whereby a man gets off on being belittled and shamed. If you spend your time shaming and belittling your man even with his blessing and approval, it’s only a matter of time before you begin to believe and accept that he is in fact “Less than a man.”
Hotwifing is one thing but cuckolding goes to a different level and crosses different psychological boundaries, which in my opinion are very hard to return from.
Sorry to hear that things have turned this way for you. I wish you and your hubby luck with this.
November 10th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
Maybe you’re husband is gay.He probally isn’t even interested in sex anymore. If you don’t have any physical connection,despite what those in this lifestyle state,the marriage will be lacking. Its not your fault for this as he insisted on it but for you to go back to how things were would be far-fetched. A husband should be your best friend but not like a brother.Being in love has to do with being physically intimate also.Which is more important,your marriage or sex life. Its unfortunate you can’t have both with your marriage partner.Do you wanna divorce or stick it out? Thats the question and what do you want to do about it!
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Yea i agree with sx782. Theres no way u can have a healthy sexual relationship with your husband whilst having an emotional sexual relationship with a lover.
Be a good Hotwife and keep hubby in chasity , its what he wants xx Good luck in your decision xxx