June 25, 2007
Other Approaches
Turning a Wife Into A Hotwife
Part III - “Other Approaches”
Beyond the conversation approach we’ve talked about, there are various more direct approaches to getting a wife started having sex with other men. Participating in adult games is often a first step. It helps to have some of her friends encourage her to participate. This may start with several couples playing strip poker and then progress to some of the more explicit games involving physical contact. Peer pressure mixed with alcohol often takes over and women and men can soon lose their inhibitions. If this is repeated several times, it will give the husband an opportunity to get used to seeing his wife nude before other men. These adult games are available at many specialty stores and on the Internet.
The husband can introduce fantasies in the bedroom. He may ask his wife what man she is attracted to, and even what man she would most like to go to bed with. The husband may take the man’s part in the conversation, and while he sexually stimulates her, get her to flirt with the man in the make-believe conversation. In the same fantasy conversation this should lead to her making an obvious offer of sex. As she moves toward a climax, “dirty talk” can be encouraged, complete with using the man’s name as she climaxes.
Soon she may reach a point of saying that, given a chance, she would not turn down the man’s offer to have sex. Whether or not, this offer ever comes about it not important at this point. What is important for both the husband and wife is to experience her boldly offering herself to another man, and, if possible, climaxing while visualizing him. (She’s probably already done this in her secret fantasies, but boldly saying these things in front of her husband breaks down a major barrier.) Many women find that being able to say these things out loud can be very liberating in itself. In a way it’s a game of, “How bold can you be?” Without turning her off by pushing things to far too fast, the husband should expand these fantasies while, if possible, sexually stimulating her just short of a climax. He may get her to a point of boldly admitting out loud that she would be willing to go to bed with specific men she’s attracted to.
For a husband a good initial test to see if things should continue is to hear the wife say that she would like to go to bed with a particular man and she will no turn down an opportunity to go to bed with him. If the husband feels pangs of jealousy in hearing this, there is some question about things continuing in the hotwife direction. However, if he can honestly say, “Yes, I want you to experience that,” then the couple may be ready for the next step — following through.
Although, because of cultural conditioning, most women find all this difficult at first, if they can reach this point of being openly bold and explicit in this way, they often experience a feeling of freedom. Even if “her heart is not in it,” just playing the “game” of boldly stating out loud that she would be willing go to bed with them will alter her thinking. After going this game numerous times, she may become sexually excited just by thinking about sex with men other than her husband.
Once a wife starts down this road, it may become easy for her to flirt with men she’s interested in, and get and accept sexual offers. For most women being able to enjoy this level of sexual freedom is hard to give up. Before starting down the hotwife road, husbands need to carefully consider if this is what they really want. Beyond this, we move into “the real world.”
By: Dr. Cherry Lee
Read Part I - How can I turn my wife into a hotwife?
Read Part II - Getting Things Started
Next Week: The First Time With Another Man
