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May 23, 2007

A Wife Into A Hotwife

The most common questions from men on hotwifeblog and one I’m always getting asked is “How do I get my wife to become a hotwife?” There are no easy answers but there are various routes you can try to achieving your ultimate goal of getting your wife to fuck another man. I was recently sent this article which details tips and techniques that may be useful to you men out there seeking your hotwife fantasy to come true.

Many thanks to J&M for sending this to me. It’s fairly long so I’m going to post it in 7 parts, one every week or so. Here’s the first segment:

Turning a Wife Into A Hotwife

Part I - “How can I turn my wife into a hotwife?”

First, as difficult as it might be for many people to understand, the issue of “getting my wife to have sex with other men” is now one of the major topics of interest on the Internet - in particular, in Internet chatrooms. Scores of websites featuring photos are devoted to this topic. We’ll get to the “how to” issues after mentioning some preliminary things that should be considered.

Some women immediately embrace the opportunity for sexual freedom. However, I also know that many more are not interested in becoming hotwives, even though they enjoy sex and may have had numerous sexual partners before marriage. Negative cultural and personal conditioning about sexual exclusivity is just too strong. In short, it will never happen. A woman should be in control of her body, and to try to push her into things that she is 100% dead set against will only cause major problems. So if this is clearly the case, forget it; move on to other things in life. Possibly even more important, most husbands, especially in the United States, wouldn’t allow their wives to become hotwives. Although they may entertain these thoughts in fantasies, possessiveness, jealousy and cultural conditioning ultimately prevail. However, at the same time, we know that some husbands seem to handle this without apparent ill effects on the relationship. A few husbands even claim that this arrangement has helped their relationship, especially if the wife was sexually frustrated to start with. One husband in a chatroom conversation said, “…My wife loves sex; she’s great in bed; life is short; why not let them enjoy it?” We are assuming here that you are dealing with a reluctant wife. In today’s U.S. culture many husbands, even in their 30s, have lost interest in sex - primarily due to work stress and various medications. As a result, the wife’s sexual needs are much greater than the husband’s ability to fulfill them.

Although a few wives “could care less about sex” - and that’s a topic covered elsewhere - we’ve have heard from many wives who feel acute mental and physical sexual frustration - so much so that it negatively affects their moods, feeling of well being, and their marriage. Some reluctant wives, if approached in the right way, will be willing to at least to talk about the hotwife option, and this is where things can begin. We’ve gotten letters from husbands who said their wives were very much against it at first, but after talking about it over a period of weeks or months, they changed their minds.

Before discussions begin, the husband must feel that the marriage is totally solid and that it can definitely withstand some real challenges (read: real challenges). It will help the husband’s feelings of security if he feels that his wife knows that she has a good thing in the marriage and other men could not offer her the advantages that she now enjoys. According to one husband, “She knows she has a good thing going with me , and I’m sure she’s not about to give that up.” Before we continue, the following should be considered.

The central question that needs to be asked in condoned affairs is, “Could you have sex with other men without it affecting our marriage or your feelings toward me?” Possibly an even bigger question centers on whether the man can handle the fact that his wife is having sex with other men. The vast majority can’t, especially in the United States. A open marriage or “swinging” is generally much easier for a husband to handle than simply having a hotwife. Even the men who initially feel they can handle this type of arrangement typically discover that jealousy soon enters the picture creating major problems for the primary relationship.This being said, as we’ve noted there are a few men who are secure enough in themselves and in their relationship to grant their wives permission to enjoy sex with other men. In short, they encourage and share their wife’s happiness, even when it stems from spending time with other men.

Likewise, there are a few women who value this type of opportunity enough to keep extramarital sex on the level of simple physical enjoyment, while making sure that it does not negatively impact their primary relationship. Possibly it’s unfortunate, but at the present time this level of selflessness sophistication is rare.

By: Dr. Cherry Lee

Next Week: Getting Things Started

A Hotwife Was Here
Could This Be Your Bedroom Whilst You’re Away One Night?

9 Responses to “A Wife Into A Hotwife”

  1. Sam said:

    Good article. I enjoy coming to Hotwife blog. My wife is a hotwife wannabe lol! I have had fantasies of her getting it on with someone else for a long time. She is always resistent and maybe it’s better that way,I don’t know. I’ve often wondered how many of these hotwife stories are real and how many are internet b.s. fantasy. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! Do women really go to bars and bring strange men home and fuck them? I mean is that the safest, wisest behavior? I don’t know.
    My wife is a very sexy women and our adventures right now consist of her dressing really hot when we go out and the attention she gets. She’ll also wear t shirts with slutty sayings on them if we go shopping….stuff like that. OK, the closest we’ve come to the real thing is when this guy asked her to have lunch with him. At first, she was going to tell him no but I talked her into accepting while I sat in another part of the restaurant and observed. Well, she met him at a restaurant and I played “fly on the wall”. I thought it would be a big turn. Guess what? I got jealous!! Something primordial and visceral…..my own innate insecurities jumping up and biting me…..I don’t know. Now she says she won’t do THAT again even tho I would like to try it again!
    We’ve been married a long time and have a very solid marriage. When we have talked about hotwifing her concerns have always centered around STD’s and some guy taking it TOO seriously and getting emotionally involved or (God forbid) stalking. How do others deal with this? I mean really! I don’t have any good answers for her.
    But this is a real story from a real husband who would sort of like to take it to the next step but this is where we are and we may get no further…..I don’t know! Keep writing good articles like this!

  2. Monte said:

    I would like to respond to Sam’s response. My wife has become what hotwife after almost 8 years of monogamous marriage. She is a buxom and gorgeous forty-something with a smoking hot body. She attracts men like magnet. Initially, we joined a swinger’s website and we “met” different men online. The wife or I would choose guys whose profile most matched what physical characteristics she required, e.g. tall, extremely well-endowed, etc. She began chatting with them even having them “perform” for her on webcam during chat. Finally she had her first date with one guy she had been chatting with enough to feel comfortable. She met him at a motel. She called me regularly and right before actually going in the room with him asked me if I was sure. I told her to “go for it!” It was only for the purpose of giving him a “bj”, but it was one hell of a bj. The guy sent me a detailed description of the goings-on behind closed doors. Very Hot! My wife called me immediately afterward to tell me she what she had just done and that she was extremely horny. She proved it when she came home! The next time we met a guy for an MFM threesome. This was the day after three of us had met for drinks to see if we “clicked”. When we were in the room, I watched as my wife and the guy undressed themselves. My wife wanted to kiss, but the guy felt obligated to get my permission and I gave it. When he actually inserted his penis into her, I felt those familiar and expected twangs of ambivalence and uncertainty along with a degree of amazement. Then she motioned me to join in. It turned out to be rather exciting. Later, she called to ask if she could stop by another male friends apartment for a “pitstop” to play alone with him. This was very difficult and I had to have a few drinks before I could give her permission–feelings of jealousy, possessiveness, plagued my thoughts at first. Hesitantly, I consented. When she told me the details later in bed it made us both very sexually excited. It was a real shot in the arm for our relationship. After a few more times, I realized that I enjoyed giving her complete freedom to express herself sexually and without fear of emotional attachments. Her mind was in the right place and now so was mine. Now I absolutely love it when she has sex with other men whether I am present or not. I get pleasure vicariously when she does it and we have terrific sex when she comes home. It is wonderful to have a “hotwife”! I never regret for a moment.

  3. Mike said:

    I think “hotwifing” is awesome, I have been trying to get my wife to do this as well, but she will only agree to it and follow through with it if I find the men for her to play with, I have been trying for some time to get her to go find men herself, but for some reason unknown to me, she is reluctant. I think it really does help a relationship/marriage, because in our case, the wife gets a good pounding from someone new and it makes me try harder to make her feel the way she felt with him, makes for extremely hot sex. I think she will eventually do this on her own but it is taking her forever to do it. Another thing is that she will only do this in our home, she will not go to another mans house to play, she feels safer in our home, but either way, sticking my cock in her freshly fucked pussy is unbelieveable………..

  4. Dave said:

    There’s no guaranteed route to getting this to work in your marriage if the lady of the house does not want it. I think every man needs to find what route might work for him, no one knows a lady better than her husband. I found interracial porn worked for me, as we watched it I’d tell her it’d be a lot hotter if it were her taking that pounding.. That dirty talk migrated to the bedroom and we had some wild fantasises, which led to us discussing it for real. If there is any advice I’d give, it would be to find out what her concerns might be and then to discuss those in a way that’ll reassure her. By way of an example, my wife’s concerns were a) would I still love her if she went with another guy b)did I want her to do this just so I could have other women? c) sexual health issues and d) how could we keep this safe from friends and family? I thought at the time they were all very valid concerns, and the fact that we were openly talking about them in the cold light of day was a huge step forward for us. I managed to overcome the concerns easily enough:- I thought I would love her more, I wasn’t going to fool around as she was my everything, we’d insist on condoms and we’d find guys anonymously using the internet. When she finally agreed I hastily made the arrangements including finding a guy and booking a cheap hotel room - a few days later I watched her with her first well-endowed stranger, and have never regretted it.

  5. jerr45fl said:

    my wife finally tried this, after much coxaing, and really enjoyed it, she took care of two boyfriends for 7 years, it was seven years of non stop sex, it was wonderful, for her and for me… we are still married and will always be

  6. Wally said:

    how it all started was that I told her that we try it together so went to a swingers house party. Her first time she had 8 guys because she was fresh meat.I asked her to continue doing it and she agreed only if she was the only one having sex I agreed . After words it was 4-5 guys at the party that would party with her this went on for several years and I introduced her to her privet Gang Bang parties I take pictures and video now. every thing is great, actually my wife is my porn queen she gets all the cock she needs and I take all the pictures that I like. the hardest part I have is when we go to parties and I let guys take her and they fuck her alone. this is great but I cant see how much she is enjoying herself and I am creaming in my pants till she walks out of the room.She started in 2004 seven years later she has had over 500 guys play with her so far so she has been used. recently she has TOLD me her pussy hasn’t been getting good use so I guess she intends to have more men fill her up. Good luck in the life style remember that once she starts she might not want to stop. Enjoy

  7. Ms Vern a real Hot Wife said:

    We are a mixed couple he is white and I am Black this is how it starts. My husband got me started in this mess. I agreed on doing just to make him happy and that was for the wrong reason. at first I went along with it and let the guys fuck me and he watched the guys use me and he took pictures like most husbands do. he took it to the point that he wanted me to be Gang Banged. the first time it was unbearable he had 12 guys take turns on me all night.After they had finished with me my pussy was sore all week I hated it. He asked me a week later if I was ready for another Gang Bang I said sure why not sarcasm.he started looking on line for guys to see if any would respond. I posted my own ad pictures of me pussy ,nipples me getting fucked on Craig s list looking for hung black men nothing less then ten inches. I had 25 guys respond in an hour. I wanted to do this on my own and I contacted all 25 told them with the deal and booked a suite . in our past experience one or two show up this time all 25 showed and some brought friends. I was worried I would be raped one guy came over and put his finger in me and kissed me.fixed me a drink and led me to the sofa. it dident take much before I was out of it , the next thing I knew was I was in bed the my legs wide open my first guy was a full ten inches thick and went straight in me I moaned in pleasure. i reached out and took the first cock i could find. that whole weekend i was fill in each hole I don’t do anal but this was my first time!I was totally stretched out it was so bad that guys would fuck me bent me over and they could seen inside me. That had never happened to me they tool pictures of the cumm in me while I was bent over.after a week I was looking through some of my husbands porn sites and looked around I found myself on a site a good hour of all the guys Gang Banging me . I was furious I did bot know the guys were taping me my pussy became wet instantly I called all of them and said its time to make another video. Fucking other men is the best thing that happened in our marriage. Ladies I recommend it to you enjoy your selves and keep your marriage together.

  8. She he said:

    We have just gotten into the lifestyle after a few years of fantasy. The hardest thing to overcome was her fear of our marriage ending. After many, many hours of discussion we finally tried it. Our only question at this point is…why did we wait so long!

  9. Jaxxon said:

    My wife got interested in being a Hotwife after we talked about it for a few years. I had been in the swinging lifestyle before we started dating, and had told her about it before we were married. It really turned her on for me to tell her about some of my MFM and gangbang experiences from the past. She was a little nervous with the first few guys, but quickly began to really enjoy it. In 2011, she had sex with 46 different men, and so far in 2012 she has had sex with 38 different men. She is tall, and very attractive, so she has no problem getting men. She will go shopping at Wal Mart, and when she catches a man looking at her tits, she will watch which aisle he goes to next, and then come down that aisle from the other way with her tits out if nobody else is there…lol. She’s been fucked quite a few times in dressing rooms at stores by men she met while shopping. Sometimes while I am at work I will get a pic sent to my cell phone of her sucking cock or getting fucked.We have never had a problem with jealosy or anything of the sort. She did have one guy who became a stalker, but it didn’t take long for me to straighten that out. We love it, and plan to continue for a long time.

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