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January 31, 2007

To All Husbands

Here’s another science piece from my friend Marc. I love this stuff, please submit more if you have any interesting takes on the lifestyle and why we like the things we do. Thanks Marc




To all husbands out there,

After scientifically studying your average suburban housewife’s “very naughty behaviour” over the past few years, I’ve come up with some explanations & monthly warning signs, that all husbands out there really need to bear in mind!!

Now husbands, you first and foremost need to keep a check on your wives prior to & when they are ovulating. [This is when your wives are said to be; “fertile” or “on heat” or “in season” or “egging” or “in egg” or “egged up” or “dropping eggs” or “ripe for seeding” etc.] Because a study suggests that women’s preferences in men shift during ovulation, appealing toward a more primitive drive to find the most “virile & handsome” breeding mates possible. Another study has concluded that women subtly improve their facial attractiveness during ovulation. This is all to do with the hormones that a woman secretes prior to & during ovulation – and the affect they have on her behaviour. So basically guys – during ovulation (egging time) and the days beforehand, your wives will be acting like “on-heat bitches” and this is when their craving to breed with well-hung black men will peak!!!

In suburban housewives, the period when ovulation occurs is called their ovulatory phase, and it occupies the fourteenth day of an idealized 28 day menstrual cycle – i.e. roughly 14 days after the first day of the start of their periods. Because of the variable nature of the menstrual cycle in vivo, however, normal ovulation can occur as early as day 8 or as late as day 20 and beyond. A woman with a particularly short cycle will ovulate earlier, while a woman with a long cycle will ovulate later.

[PS: Some basic womanly science;– Prior to ovulation, the maturing egg follicle begins secreting oestrogen and progesterone. Oestrogen helps the womb lining thicken and expand, and increases blood flow to the womb. Progesterone causes the glands of the womb lining to form secretions that help nourish a fertilized egg. Within 24 hour of ovulation, if the egg has not been fertilized, it will simply disintegrate after reaching the uterus (womb) . Without fertilization - and implantation - the levels of the said hormones will ultimately drop, causing this lining of the uterus to break down and shed - referred to as menstruation, or a woman’s “period”, which occurs approx 14 days (average) after ovulation.]

Now obviously guys, cyclical variables can make this “rhythm method” of detecting ovulation in your wives a little bit unreliable – but the onset of your wife’s ovulation can be detected by various medical symptoms too. There are ovulation hormone test kits of course, but a cheaper way is to regularly stick a thermometer up your wife’s butt, because you’ll notice that ovulating women experience a gradual three-day rise in body temperature, on average 0.4 to 0.6 degrees Fahrenheit. This temperature elevation persists until the day of menses which marks the end of the menstrual cycle. Furthermore, your wife may feel a slight twinge on one side of their lower back or abdominal area during ovulation termed Mittelschmerz (”midpain”) that is most likely caused by irritation of the abdominal wall from the blood and fluid escaping from the egg’s ruptured follicle. [Some women may also notice a little pinkish or bloody discharge in their panties.] Lastly, the chemical composition of your wife’s cervical mucus will shift during ovulation, changing in composition to better accommodate sperm. The mucus is said to be clear, stretchable, and sticky, resembling raw egg white. Check for all these physical signs husbands, because this will be the time when your wife will be “egging & in season” – and craving to sneak off to meet up with Brutus Black, DFW Knight, Shane Diesel, Lex Steel & other well-hung bull men. (Husbands please take pity on your wives though, because remember when overwhelmed by their ovulation hormones – women will be in a state of total helplessness, desperately craving seed for her egg. Compulsively she’ll illicitly just do what’s necessary, to procure & elicit as many sources of prime seed as possible!!)

So for how long will your wife be “on heat” for & behaving very naughtily?

Well during ovulation, your wife’s ovaries will discharge a single ovum (or occasionally 2 eggs within 24 hours of each other) into one of their fallopian tubes. This egg will then stay alive for approximately 24 hours – although some say anything between 12 & 72 hours. But male spermatozoa can stay alive for 5 days (some say 3, 7 & some even claim 10 days) in a woman’s reproductive system. Thus the 3 days (or 5 or even 8 days) before ovulation day, ovulation day itself & the day after ovulation – is referred to as your wife’s “on-heat-bitch” phase. This is when associated secreted hormones will cause your fertile broodmare wives to feel incredibly horny & crave multiple partners – especially well-hung black men (obviously wanting to “breed” with the most virile studs possible & so “bear” the strongest offspring possible!) So to all white husbands out there – this is the time when your wives are most likely to cheat & “go with the Black Man”!

Now there’s also a current controversial “competitive sperm” theory doing the rounds, which backs up this assumption that women crave multiple partners before, during & just after ovulation. Competitive sperm theory claims that a certain percentage of this “5 day lifetime” male sperm is “killer sperm”, which has evolved to fight off rival men’s sperm. Supposedly this is to ensure the strongest batch of sperm wins out, fertilizes the ovum and strengthens humanities evolution. (Thus; well-hung black man’s sperm would probably “kick shit” out of any weedy white man’s sperm it encounters in a woman’s womb, wouldn’t it? Upon seeing that black baby though, the white wife would have some explaining to do wouldn’t she? Previously dormant genes from a historical African ancestor, seems to be the most popular excuse used by these adulterous white mothers!!)

Anyway, obviously this “competitive sperm” theory leads to the conclusion that Mother Nature wants women to be promiscuous during their 5 day “on-heat, fertile, breeding cycle” (or is it 3, 7 or 10 days?) – i.e. before, during & 24 hrs after she ovulates her egg. Promiscuous so that the strongest batch of sperm possible wins out and the “egged-up” mother produces the healthiest offspring possible. So husbands don’t blame your “naughty wife” for her adulterous ways – she’ll be “on-heat” and Mother Nature impels & demands she behaves like this!

If you look, day 10 to day 15 (minimum) is when you especially need to be on your guard with your wives. Because this is when their “on-heat-bitch” cravings for promiscuous behaviour & well-hung black cock, will peak!! Thus this is the time too, when you are most likely to come home and find your broodmare wives naked in their beds with the bedroom window open and a semi-naked well-hung stud leaping over your back yard fence. (Although rumours about such men (dogs) being able to “sniff out” an ovulating woman (bitch), are strictly urban myth!) It’s also the time when you are most likely to find your wives sitting at their dressing tables putting on their long black stockings, garter belts, little black dresses, gold right anklets (but no panties) – claiming they’re going on a girls night out and won’t be back till late. Notice all those long errands, that cute little “butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth” wifey will be sending you out on, during this particular time of the month too! But now we know what they’re really up to don’t we? Egged-up, in-season, on-heat & craving the most virile seed possible for her egg!!

Hope you find the above chart (hyperlink) & monthly cycle signs helpful?? Sadly though – now I come to think of it, your average suburban housewife seems impelled to be “very naughty” over the whole month don’t they? I suppose this whole “rhythm method” logic & just exactly how long those ovulation hormones make naughty housewives “on-heat” for, is fraught with uncertainty :– uncertainty over how long an unfertilized egg can live for (12, 24, 48 or even 72 hours some claim); uncertainty over how long a sperm can live for inside a woman (3, 5, 7 or even 10 days some claim); uncertainty over the chances of a one-time change in the timing of ovulation (not to mention that ovulation on the 14th day of an idealised 28 day menstrual cycle, is only an average anyway); and also the whole uncertainty of regular periods (28 day cycle is average, but could be 21 to 40 days) which may change from month to month and over the years too! This leads some to claim “there is hardly a day in the month, during which some women are not potentially fertile”. So I guess guys, it’s more difficult than I first thought – determining just when those naughty wives of yours will be “on-heat” for other men’s cock! But whatever, please remember to always take pity on and forgive your wife’s adulterous behaviour – she just can’t help being promiscuous you see, Mother Nature made her that way!!!

Now guys, I know the above explanations & warning signs are a bit long winded, so I’ve included this simple chart for you to use:-

3 Responses to “To All Husbands”

  1. dave said:

    You’ve got to be shitting me! Is this person serious?

  2. Lisa K. said:

    Some funny shit! I’m 34yo and I’ve ALWAYS been very naughty (especially with my husband of almost 13 years who’s also been my lover since 6th grade) but ever since turning 30yo, I feel like I’m ïn-heat” 24/7, and if for some reason my husband and I don’t have sex for 3+ days, I start to go ïnsane”and will pick fights until we “get it on”.

  3. Dave said:

    Hmmm.. Crave Black cock? Give me a break. Love it when “experts” attempt to combine fact with fantasy! Granted, this is a cuckold site, but really!!! Why do racial attitudes have to come into play? This type of E-Mail makes the writer sound very insecure if he is indeed black. You know what they say, those who blow their own horns usually have stubs. Just my opinion!! :)

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