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I wanted to post this superb observation I came across recently touching on the subject that the wife may prefer to keep her adulterous activities secret.

I believe that many of the long term wannabe cuckolds can console themselves with the thought that there’s a strong probability that they have already been secretly cuckolded. I also suspect that many of the erotic first time stories posted here are in fact telling of the first time after the secret dress rehearsal.

Most married women are constantly being hit on and there have to be times when both temptation and opportunity coincide but the will to resist comes from the knowledge that their husbands would be devastated. But if the husband has already told her many times that he actually wants her to have sex with other men, it completely changes the parameters. She can have fun with a clear conscience knowing she has her husband’s tacit permission – but this is a very different matter from subsequently telling him. After the act, other factors come into play (see below).

Looking at the case of a wife with no personal desire for extra-marital sex but who is considering it to satisfy her husband’s fetish. In the past there have probably been occasions when she has thought ‘if I were single’ or wistfully ‘if only I was that kind of wife’ so she is not totally averse to the idea but there are still a lot of unknowns holding her back. She thinks:-

1. What if I hate it and don’t want to do it again? Or what if I see a danger of getting emotionally involved and know that I shouldn’t do it again? In both of those cases, thinking he has cracked it after all that pestering, hubby is not going to easily accept it as a one time thing.

2. What if my husband doesn’t enjoy it as much as he thinks and can’t get over the jealousy?

3. How likely is it to damage my relationship – including his regard for me and my respect for him?

4. If I had sex with other men will he use that as an excuse to chase other women?

When faced with a complex problem I always try to eliminate as many variables as possible and I don’t see why a thinking wife should be any different. In the list above the first item can be easily dealt with by a trial run without her husband knowing. Perhaps her fears are realised so from then on she returns to fidelity and continues to resist her husband’s pressures. On the other hand, if she enjoys it and wants to continue, the other three items on the list still loom large and there is a real temptation to avoid those risks by not telling. Also at this stage an additional factor kicks in and that is the insidious excitement that comes from cheating. Speak to any cheating wife and they will say that a good portion of the pleasure of affairs comes from the secrecy and living dangerously.

As a small test, when reading ‘first time’ postings, notice how quickly many of these wives seem to switch from trepidation and hesitancy to full blooded involvement. Time after time, when reading I’m convinced the ‘first time’ wife had already dipped her foot in the water.

Post by UKResearcher