July 16, 2005
My Wife Won’t Cheat
I have tried for years to make my wife become a ‘hot wife’ with no success.
My problem is she doesn’t want to have sexual relations with anyone apart from me. We have been married for 10 years and have been very happy together despite my frustrations. I have always had a bit of an attraction to women who are sexually experienced, slightly older than me and like to ‘play the field’ and my wife completely fitted that bill. She had been married 3 times before she got Wed to me and all of those marriages ended because of her adultery.
She loved me for loving who she was, what she enjoyed and her past. She said she’d never felt more comfortable and open in my presence. Obviously I let her know in the early days that I’d love to see someone else having sex with her and her precise words were “You sound like my perfect man!”.
What happened and what went wrong is my wife completely fell in love with me and after we got married she changed her whole outlook on life. Of course that makes me the happiest man in the world to have my beautiful wife so full of love for me but along with it her old personality has vanished completely.
She says she doesn’t want anyone else but me. The fact that she’s had 3 previous marriages and 3 previous divorces has made her insecure that committing adultery again will end our marriage. She’s made a connection and that’s it. Even with my hard reassurances and constant encouragement she won’t budge or change her outlook.
It comes down to the fact that she lived the promiscuous lifestyle in her past marriages because she was UNHAPPY. Now she couldn’t be happier and sees no reason to destabilize her now steady life.
So despite my frustrations I wonder how many other women who lead this lifestyle are indeed covering a deep routed sadness and unfulfilment due to not being satisfied with their partner and if they were to meet ‘the right man’ they would indeed stay faithful and lead a more coventional life. It’s just a thought.
Submitted by: John
July 17th, 2005 at 2:25 am
Your story reads like I wrote it. I am at a loss to explain it too. Sexually promiscuous she was before I came along, then straight and conservative after we hooked up. Go figure.
I am in utter frustration daily, my friend in arms.
July 17th, 2005 at 6:40 am
Hey John,
With all due respect, from what you wrote it seems like this is YOUR thing. While she may have stated a couple times a desire to be with other men, things do change. Its not always easy when one has certain hopes and expectations but the reality is its going to happen and its her life and choice.
From many people I talk to what often happens is one side tries so hard to convince the other side that it becomes pressure, a burden and just to much. Anyhow, I know thats not what you asked but my point is she changed her opinion once, she may do so again. No one stays the same as the years go by.
In my own opinion, I’m sure that they are many people that have affairs due to feeling lonely, miserable of incomplete. Most of the time its the regular “cheating” variety, but in some cases no doubt its in the cuckolding or hotwife variety as well. 50+% of all marriages end in divorce with infidelity being a major contributing factor. But I do think that with many cuckolding couples, the openness, the honesty, the sharing of true desires, emotions, physical relationships gives them a greater chance of staying together than the other way around. Almost all the cuckoldress’s I know and have spoken to think its great and see it as a bonus, not a detriment or a replacement for something they may be missing.
Anyhow, thats just one ladies opinion but I do hope your situation works out for the best of both of you.
July 17th, 2005 at 7:55 am
Thanks for your submission John. An interesting situation, I think you should completely change your whole thinking method around this one. Your wife knows what you want,so take the hard stance away and leave it at that for now. I think by making the connection between her adulterous days and now is wrong. She wants to forget her past and you bringing them up all the time is making the situation worse.
As you said she was unhappy then, so now you need to move on and if it happens again it will be for the right reasons and part of that reason will be that’s she’s left the unhappy woman completely behind. Make things more fun, maybe bring some related roleplay fantasies into your bedroom, let nature take it’s course and maybe with the pressure factor eradicated she may feel less intimidated and more confident to alter her current thought pattern. Please don’t take offence but my comments, they are just my immediate thoughts.
Ms Maccomb, as usual a brilliant observation. Thanks.
July 25th, 2005 at 9:56 pm
By all means bring on the role play. You can also try dinner with her and a friend who then takes his leave, but shows up at the hotel room at a pre arranged, later time when she’s getting real heated up.I did this for a couple I now see several times a year, and it worked great.